Let's go with Paul Lynde for the block, please...

My wife tells me that there are people who don't cover every square of their waffles with butter and syrup. These must be the same crackpots who want me to believe Pluto is not a planet. What do you do with the pieces without syrup, eat around them? Sounds like a waste of good waffle to me, you freakin' weirdos.

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Now playing: Machines Of Loving Grace - Butterfly Wings
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Be Serious and Have Fun!

I received an email today containing an article titled "Be Serious and Have Fun!" by Dan Coughlin. I am including this excerpt below, just because I laughed explosively when I read it.

Several weeks ago I gave a keynote at 9 AM at a conference in Newport, Rhode Island. That night I had dinner with several of the attendees at the big banquet. The speech went over well and I was feeling pretty good about myself. The waiter brought a great looking salad and a small white container that I thought contained a hot Thousand Island dressing. So with a real flourish I poured it over my entire salad.

The woman sitting next to me fell on the ground laughing. When she picked herself up and sat back down, I said, “What's so funny?” With tears rolling down her cheeks, she said, “You just poured your tomato soup all over your salad.” Then I started laughing. She said, “Don’t say anything. No one will notice. Just knock over the soup bowl and I’ll tell the waiter you accidently spilled it, and ask him to bring you another one.” When the waiter brought a new salad and new soup, he leaned over and said, “Don’t worry. A lot of people thought that was the salad dressing.” Then I really laughed.

"Dan Coughlin is a business keynote speaker, management consultant, and author of "Accelerate: 20 Practical Lessons to Boost Business Momentum," which made it to #4 on the Barnes & Noble Business Bestseller List. He has been quoted in USA Today, the New York Times, and Investor's Business Daily. Dan's clients include Coca-Cola, Toyota, Boeing, Marriott, McDonald's, AT&T, American Bar Association, the St. Louis Cardinals, and more than 100 other organizations in over thirty industries. He speaks on entrepreneurial habits, quality, leadership, branding, sales, and innovation."

Off the cuff

I joined Toastmasters a couple of years ago to develop my speaking ability and confidence. I learned I have a knack for speaking "off-the-cuff." Surprising, because I have always had the worst time with improvisation. As an actor I felt the most comfortable and gave the strongest performances when I had a script and had prepared and rehearsed thoroughly. I had always preferred to deliver someone else's words to an audience "out there" beyond the apron of the stage. The larger audience the better - my nerves only get me when I am one-on-one.
Now in Toastmasters I am frequently called upon to improvise speeches on topics given on the spot. I should be terrified but instead I embrace the challenge. I take the topic – the little seed that I am given - and find a connection with my audience one by one. It is more intimate than I expected public speaking to be and much more so than even those performances at the tiny "Armory Free Theatre" in college. I find I have to work harder to bring my prepared speeches to the level of these extemporaneous speeches.
Now to be fair, the bar is necessarily set a little lower for "Table Topics" speeches, as they are called in the club. What I take away from this though is that I can be comfortable speaking on any topic.

And someday maybe I will stop being amazed at all the things we can do if we would get out of our heads and just go do them.

My local club: Toastmasters Plus
Toastmasters International

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Now playing: Dokken - In My Dreams
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Own your words and your deeds

Why is it so hard for anyone to take responsibility any more? When you screw up and you get what you deserve, why can't you just own up to it and move on? Sheesh, we all make mistakes - that's how we learn! I can't find an attributable quote but I'm sure you've heard about learning "more from my failures than from my successes."
Forgive my rant but my latest complaint has been ongoing for several months. After finally negotiating a solid offer for our new house, we obviously had to purchase homeowners insurance. Having had two decades of solid customer service from State Farm, I naturally decided to stick with my local agent. She ordered the appraisal, worked out the coverage with me, and I paid the quoted amount for one year of coverage.
A few weeks after we closed, I received a bill from State Farm for an additional $125. I was confused so I brought it up with my agent. (To be fair, my agent was on maternity leave, so I was dealing with someone in her office, but who happens to be a close friend of the family herself.) She checked with the underwriter who stated simply that the new rate took into account information from our credit file. Now I have separate issues with that idea which I will address at the end...

Issue #1
I went back and forth with her and ultimately got the direct number for the underwriter. When I finally reached him the conclusion was that we should have been quoted the higher amount initially. Now I can understand that someone made a mistake in preparing the quote. What I don't understand is why I should have to pay for it. In all my business dealings, when you make a quote you stand by it. Someone is making a purchasing decision based on your quote and the understanding that you will keep your word. Not once in my communications with State Farm has anyone acknowledged that fact. It just shows that you only really find out someone's integrity when things go wrong. It's easy to keep your word when no one calls you out.
So in the end I am still waiting for a return call from some sales executive named Roger to find out if they are going to stand by the quote. If not I don't see how I have any choice but to take my business elsewhere. Unfortunately I have a feeling I will end up with more of the same no matter where I go.
If you have run into a similar situation or have a solution, please leave a comment.

Issue #2
So what bearing does my credit file have all of the sudden on homeowners insurance? I mean if my structure on my land in my neighborhood costs X amount to insure, doesn't it still cost the same regardless of my credit? And, ok, let's say I am someone with a low score (which we're not by the way. We're well above average - not that it is any of your business...), shouldn't my relationship with their company carry greater weight than some number given by a complete stranger? They know my payment history and claim history for the last 20 years because I have been with them for as long as I have been driving. I have had car insurance, motorcycle insurance, health insurance, personal belongings, and renter's policies, over the years. I've had two claims, both of which were 100% not my fault. I don't get it. Seriously I am completely befuddled (thanks for the word Mike!)

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Now playing: Nine Inch Nails - 1 Ghosts I
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Time to Barter (or, Let's Git Tradin', y'all)

I found some things in my house that I really don't need but for various reasons they should not be thrown out. Some I stopped using and some I never even used once. I would like to trade them for your "awesome crap" (you know, another man's garbage, and all that).
Currently available:

• HP iPAQ Pocket PC h1910 - this is a nifty, if outdated, little PDA running MS Windows and includes Pocket Outlook, Word, and Excel. I am including the USB cable and power charger/adapter. I plugged it in to make sure it still works and it seems to run just fine. You will need a new battery though if you want it to truly be portable.
  I never learned how to do anything with the IR port, but I hear you can make these into truly powerful universal remotes. Hmmm....maybe I should hang on to it and find out...
• D-Link WBR-1310 Wireless G Router - great for an inexpensive home network. I thought I would be able to use it as an extender, but I was mistaken. It lacks the advanced functionality of my Belkin, so I don't need it. It has only been plugged in long enough to play around with the settings. Otherwise it is practically brand new.
• Acoustic Research MS280 Digital Optical Cable 3ft. (Qty 2) - Two high quality cables with TOSLINK connectors.
• RCA Car Cassette CD Adapter (qty 2) - the kind we used to use when we had cassette players. All I can say is, "Never been opened!"
• Plantronics Vista telephone headset volume control - see picture or google for details.
• Audio/Video Converter (unknown brand - "Hecho en china" - Qty 2) - Use your S-Video/Composite Video/Component Audio devices with your old RF/Coax TV. With power cable.

Please reply with your best trade offers or else I will be forced to send these to eBay...
Additional pictures available at http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/bar/787285439.html
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Now playing: Tori Amos - Taxi Ride
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I, ego

On Language - Me, Myself and I - NYTimes.com

I will keep this one short. I think it is important to at least comment on this one. I disagree with the author's faint assertion that we would be a better society if we did not put ourselves first. I must act in my own best interest; otherwise how am I to ascertain what is "good"? I encourage you to read "Anthem" by Ayn Rand. I do not think it is necessarily her best work, but it is enjoyable, short, and gets the point across well. I now look forward to your comments.

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Now playing: Rush - 2112
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No punishment no crime?

Putting the 45-m.p.h. construction-zone speed limit to the safety test -- chicagotribune.com

It seems like everyone is sick of the state of speed limit laws in this country. None of it makes sense to me. I have had my share of speeding tickets in the past and I am determined not to get any more. But somehow I feel like doing the "right thing" makes you a schmuck.
Someone once told me, "If everyone follows the rules, then everyone wins. If everyone follows the rules but me, then I win." If the system does not reward those who follow the rules, and hardly punishes those who do not, then what are we supposed to infer?
I don't know the exact statistics, but from my experience the only "punishment" those idiots speeding past me on the highway get is to arrive at their destination sooner than I do. Sure, after a couple hundred of them pass me I will see one pulled over by a state trooper. If I were a Vegas handicapper I would like those odds.
After my last ticket (well over a decade ago, now) I tried a similar experiment as mentioned in the article. Every time I drove on the highway I stayed in the right line with my cruise control set as close to the speed limit as possible. I did this for several months but it was too frustrating to continue. I was amazed, not just at how many drivers were speeding, but also at how much faster they were going.
This article asserts that despite these conditions, driving the speed limit is still the responsible choice. That may be, but one thing I found in my experiment that they did not mention is that even when you feel like the slowest vehicle on the road, you will likely still get stuck behind someone even slower. And with traffic as thick as it usually is in Chicago it is extremely difficult to get around these pokeys if you are not keeping up with the flow of traffic.
While I am compiling my own list of possible solutions, I would love to hear yours. Please take a second to add a comment.

The story of the accidental entrepreneur | Entrepreneur | Reuters

The story of the accidental entrepreneur | Entrepreneur | Reuters

This article reminded me of why I started this blog. And no, not just to point out the misspelling of the last name of George Patton; not to correctly identify the quote as coming from Seneca, the Roman statesman; and certainly not specifically to mock the idea of "angle investors". As much fun as those ideas might be...

One week ago today I was relieved of the burden of being employed. Ironically, I had been fantasizing for over 5 months about the day I could march in and tell them where they could stick it, or perhaps something more eloquent.

For various reasons, some obvious and others to be revealed later, I cannot remain unemployed. That's not to say I don't find the idea quite appealing. I would like to use this forum to sound out my ideas and help me come up with a solid plan. Having never done this before I can't say if it will work but it can't hurt.

I'm sure I could come up with pages and pages of why CrossCom National is an awful company to work for. I don't think it would do any good though and it would probably just sound like sour grapes. I prefer instead to look forward and focus on the positives. That being said - if anyone ever reads this and wants to know more just give me a shout and I will be happy to fill you in.