Thursday, October 30, 2008

I'll take the Maserati and some fuzzy dice

A man and his wife are out car shopping. They cannot agree on what to buy. He wants a red Porsche and she is pushing for a blue Prius. He wants a convertible but she doesn't think even a sunroof is worth the extra money. The Porsche has leather seats; she only wants cloth. I don't see a compromise in the immediate future.

They will keep arguing about it anyway despite the fact that they are missing the big picture. You see, they cannot afford to buy a new car right now. Even if they could, neither of these cars would meet their current needs. The most useful car for them would be a van they could fit their six children in, probably in a neutral color that won't show the dirt. Surprisingly enough, this is exactly the vehicle they already have, which is part of the reason they cannot afford a new one.

What's worse than the fact they don't realize this is where the story gets more absurd. You see, never mind that they don't need a new car, can't afford a new car, and couldn't agree on what to get even if they did - they are shopping at a grocery store. They are wandering up and down aisle after aisle; past milk, eggs, and ice cream; each fully expecting to leave with the new car before the day is over.

You would think the store manager would be able to point out to them that grocery stores don't sell cars, but this one is trying to be accommodating. He has a lead on a motorcycle with a sidecar and he is certain he can convince them to buy it today. Sadly, he may be right.

OK this is one of the most surreal stories I have come up with. However I did not have to work too hard at it. This is what is going on in the United States federal government on a daily basis. The Republicans and Democrats spend their days trying to convince the public to support their choice of "car." Special interest groups and lobbyists will push their own agendas for "color choice" or "make and model." Citizen watchdog groups will question how the "new car" will be paid for. But there are precious few voices pointing out the fact that it's a "grocery store." And while over the years grocery stores (literal and figurative) have expanded their inventories to include greeting cards, medications, and propane tanks, they are certainly not capable of being competitive in automobile sales. Sure, in theory a store that sells one item should be able to sell any other; that doesn't mean they will be good at it.

I am not saying (in this post) that we should not have health care, welfare, or even standards and practices for business. Only that we cannot and should not demand them from Washington. After all, the people we elect are no different from us, no smarter, no more trustworthy. Why should we be giving them more power over us when they have a monopoly to begin with? They need to be protecting our rights: human rights, property rights (physical), and intellectual property rights. They can't do this when they are trying to do everything else we are asking of them.

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